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     Greg's Quotes

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all of the publicity.  But then, we elected them." --Lily Tomlin

"Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk? --Anonymous

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines." --Frank Lloyd Wright

"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?" --Steven Wright

"The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing." --Gamel Abdel Nasser

"In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world's weird and people take Prozac to make it normal." --Damon Albarn

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." --Dave Edison

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt.  Donate it to the Salvation Army instead.  They'll clean it and put it on a hanger.  Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents." --William Coronel

"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out on the lake and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned to swim. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." --Paula Poundstone

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? Im halfway through my fishburger and realize, Oh my GodI could be eating a slow learner. - Lynda Montgomery

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                                                                                                                                                             Ok well for now that's it, I would like to thank everyone who I got these quotes from. Oh and if you want to bookmark this page I'll try to keep adding quotes and taking some off that people think our stupid, once again my email address is so email me! Thanks for looking at my page though.

   Page created by: Greg Schwindaman with help from my great friend Nick Harkins